Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
