i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
