I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
