friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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