we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
