unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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