what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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