ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
