Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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