I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
