hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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