do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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