..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
