windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
