smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
