ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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