I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
