it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
