What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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