I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
