i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
