you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
