nut hugger
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
