Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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