There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
