So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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