i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
