If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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