oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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