Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
