After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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