whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
