we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
What drink are we having for lunch?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
