my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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