walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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