Nicole vs. Life
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize