Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize