Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
