so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
