they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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