I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
