If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
