I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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