You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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