I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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