I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
