But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
