I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
