come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
