dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize