Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Randomize
