Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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