i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
