on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
