i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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