How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
