What did we do last night that was yellow?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
