I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
