I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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