I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
They took my balls.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
