chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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