he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
