Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
