I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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