My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
