Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
