Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
