Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
