I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
