I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
